Saturday, June 25, 2011

A few months after we seperated, Chris moved out of the house we'd been living in which meant I had to get the rest of my stuff out. I absolutely hate moving so of course I procrastinated on the stuff that wasn't valuable or special. The day I went over to finish up I was fine until I hit Phoebe's room. As I sat and folded clothes that no longer fit her in order to give them away, I picked up a swimsuit cover up that smelled like sunscreen still. It hit me that this little girl whose hair I brushed (although she hated it), whose clothes I carefully washed and folded after each visit...the one who I loved and protected and fed and supported as much as it was my role to was no longer going to be in my life to that degree. Of course I had always planned on maintaining a relationship with her after my divorce and I've done that, but I miss taking care of her. I don't have that role anymore. I miss having two little freshly showered girls in their pj's eating popcorn and watching a movie. I'm so thankful that her mom  has recognized that my relationship with her means something and encourages her to maintain that "family" relationship.

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