I remember one Sunday (and it may have been more than once), when you, me, Jamie, and a couple of other people were playing around in the street in front of Grandma and Grandpa’s house. I don’t think Stacy was born yet. You were belting out the “Big House” song by Audio Adrenaline and singing about food and family football games in heaven. It was a popular song at the time, so I liked hearing you attempt to sing it. I think Jamie may have joined in on parts, while others in the family lined the street in lawn chairs and looked on. I figured you were making a statement about how we’d one day do this in Heaven. What I couldn’t have envisioned was today. I couldn’t see myself sitting at work trying to conjure an image of Jamie’s face in my mind. I couldn’t have dreamt how it would sting to lose one of us at a time, and how hard it would be to find solace in this loss. I've pictured us all together, playing games and stuffing our faces in Heaven (well maybe not, since gluttony is a sin), but I didn't think about the time in between when we'd all have to go through such sadness to get there.
Now I look back at that day in my mind, and I pluck four people out of the scene - those four essential players in that big Sunday afternoon circus. They are so important. What happens now I wonder? That whole life is becoming a vapor…my memories have nothing concrete to grasp anymore. In the middle of my questions and frustration though I hear a song…sung off key and impossible to forget, that tells me the day is here to grab a hold of the concept of eternity and make it real. It’s time for me to dust myself off, straighten up my back and be strong like you are and they were, so that my children, cousins, nieces, and nephews will one day hear the song too…only hopefully in a better key.