Friday, August 26, 2011

I'm not gonna's circumstances look frightening right now, at least around my neck o' the woods. I don't like uncertainty. I despise waiting to see what's going to happen especially when my heart is involved. I like to have a plan for any eventuality and when that opportunity is taken from me I become, let's see, disagreeable. Because of this, the idea of trusting God is a hard concept for me to grasp. I think maybe he's on to me too, because lately I've been in a heated battle to try to keep him from tying my hands behind my back at every corner. I've exhausted myself struggling to make things happen for myself, in my own way. I've fought to protect my heart, my plans, my will in my own way also and have come to realize I'm out of options. The only thing I can do to keep from turning into a stressed out lunatic is to will myself to trust God. I have to make this decision multiple times a day. I really should be making this decision every two minutes because that's how fast I forget the feeling of relief I get from realizing someone bigger is in charge and has a plan. I'm re-posting this beautiful song as a reminder to myself.

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