Friday, October 15, 2010

The tiniest bit of color is showing up on the mountainsides finally. The cooler weather brings us back to our front porch after 5 months of hiding from the heat and mosquitos. In my mind there's a constant weighing of the merits of living in Tennessee rather than Florida and from this I know that these are the days to relish. Old Man Winter is right on my heels, scoffing that I think 40 degrees is cold in the morning. Soon enough he'll catch up and leave bare trees shivering in the cold and my windshield covered in ice. I'll have to push Daisy out the door in the mornings to do her business. Beside our front door will lie a stockpile of paraphanalia that will cover every inch of our bodies as we leave the house and try to imagine the warm, humid air of a Florida summer.

To me it seems that my feelings about the seasons mirror my feelings about life in general. A small portion of the time it's spring and autumn in my heart. Things are mellow. I'm content with what I have. Whatever challenges I face are small and don't sway my mood or emotions. Just as I'm stopping to breathe I'm sucked in by extremes again, blown about by storms both thunderous and blizzardy. The challenges are greater but the victories are so much sweeter, like the feeling you get when you pull off your snowy  boots and wet socks and warm yourself by the fire. You knew you were almost home because you smelled the chimney and the raspberry scones baking in the oven.

I've realized that living in the extremes has it's merits. The craziness of daily life makes those vacations at the beach so much more beautiful. Watching the rise and fall of your newborn's chest as she sleeps is a feeling like none other, especially when it's 6:00 in the morning and you've been up all night. Seeing your best friend walk down the aisle is so lovely you forget that gagging feeling you had when you stuffed yourself into that bridesmaid's dress. We appreciate the warm spring breeze because we felt the sting of cold air in our eyes all winter. We're kept from becoming numb to life's joys by this constant kneading of our emotions.

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